Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I Want To Introduce You To The Food Monster!

Yep! Thats me, hopefully soon to be the old me. I have this peculiar relationship with food. According to the little research ive done online, i happen to be an emotional eater. Now, most people use food to comfort themselves when sad or stressed but i use it for any emotion, sad, stressed,anxious, happy u name it. This means that im always eating.

I also tend to think about food a lot and crave carbs especially white/refined carbs with lots of sugar. Obviously not very good for weight loss. I dont salty snacks. Maybe i should be grateful i dont like both, otherwise i would be as big as a house by now.

Anyway, i just have to confess that i have a problem with my diet. My ability and commitment to exercise is brilliant. For example today I did my Billy Blanks Tae Bo Cardio Circuit 2 then had a one hour walk. In the evening i had a little weight lifting session to tone my arms. Its beyond me why i cant commit to a healthy, low calorie diet. I just cannot resist empty calories esp bread, biscuits, cakes and cookies. Everytime i try to go off them i feel like my life is dull, full of gloom with nothing to look forward to. Im currently trying to find ways to make my days more satisfying without food.

Another thing that has almost had me in tears today is the fact that through out the day i was able to control my calories but one little slip up just precipitated a downward spiral that just made nonsense of all my effort today. This is a very common scenario and often ends in disappointment and me giving up.

However, it is quite clear that right now i do not have the luxury of quitting. Im a 25 year old, 5'3 tall weighing 75kg or 163 pounds with a 42 inch tummy (please note that i havent even had a baby yet). Im at my highest weight and my knees hurt when i stand after sitting for sometime. I suspect that my 7kg weight gain may have a part to play in that but im going to see a doctor just to be sure im healthy.

Anyway my point is i cannot quit as it is no longer an option. I must find ways to reign in my appetite. I have to lose 20 pounds. I just gotta.

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